Free Huimorous Essays

Essay on Humorous Wedding Toast by the Bride's Brother

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Humorous Wedding Toast by the Bride's Brother

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen.

Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Mike for his kind words and reiterate how wonderful they look and what a fantastic job they have done today. I would also like to say that Sallie looks stunning - as I'm sure you'll all agree. Which really isn't that much of a surprise given we are related.

Sallie is of course my sister, so I've known her much longer than I've known Mike. But I have been sternly warned not to delve into any of her terrible past relationships, her horrible pre- and post-teen attitude, her early problems with alcohol and the short spell she spent in a Singapore jail for drug trafficking. Instead, all I'll say…show more content…

So just who is this man Sallie is marrying?

Well, he is a highly responsible executive ... he's responsible for lower profits, he's responsible for inefficiency and he's responsible for a terrible corporate scandal.

Previous to this he attended Exeter University. I have very little material with regard to Mike's 3 years as a student there, and everybody I've spoken to has no memory of it either - including Mike. He did return an excellent poker (snooker) player though.

He's also a very keen golfer and is a member of a club. But sadly, he is not blessed with the natural ability to play the game well. On one occasion, following a very disappointing round with me, he asked the club professional for some tips and pointers. After observing his swing, he advised Mike to cut 6 inches off the length of his clubs. Thinking that he had been struggling all these years with the wrong equipment, Mike asked why. He replied, 'The smaller clubs will fit in the trashcan (dustbin) better!'

Above all else, though, Mike is perhaps the only person who could possibley make an honest woman out of my sister. So, I think I speak for my parents when I say, 'Thank you!'

Seriously, Sallie has given me, and all my family, some incredibly happy moments over the years. And Mike, you fit right in with our family. Welcome! You bring happiness to Sallie, and for that we thank you.

Now Mike, some people will tell you that marriage is a 50/50 partnership. I don't know who made

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